His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
