I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
