I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
