i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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