her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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