I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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