I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
