I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I just found a bag of teeth...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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