NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
