I'm gonna have a badass scar
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
