We need to rekindle our bromance
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
