You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
