Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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