She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
