when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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