whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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