He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
