Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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