What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Houston, we have a squirter
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Everclear isn't food dammit
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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