Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
