I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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