Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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