meet me or not, i'm out of control
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
