guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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