i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
