Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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