in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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