well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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