went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
