i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
