My Higher Power is John Stamos
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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