no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
