Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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