we're blogging at a bar
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
