Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
