You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
