I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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