Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have fence marks all over my body
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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