I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
