I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
