Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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