I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
