clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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