On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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