As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
