my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
