Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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