dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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