u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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