I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
