what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
